The Best Friend who Followed me Home, Chapter 4 - Saying Goodbye

As a younger Cat, Bud was a very free spirit.  He came and went as he pleased and only allowed affection to be poured on him if it did not interfere with him going outside and picking off unsuspecting birds.    After Cassie passed away Bud underwent a very clear personality change.  Not only was he getting older, he no longer had to worry about sharing the house.  He finally had his own turf.  When she was alive, Bud had clearly given her the respect of the Alpha Cat.  If you've ever had Cat's before you know they can be extremely territorial.  Even Cats that get along 99% of the time will go at it every now and then.  This constantly had Bud on edge.  Once it was clear to him that Cassie was not coming back he seemed to breath a big sigh of relief.  Not to mention we no longer were splitting our affection between two Cats.  He was now getting all the love from everyone and was not fucking complaining.

The older he got, the more he chilled out.  He spent less nights outside and more nights curled up at the foot of my bed.  Or if it was a night he felt like sleeping alone, he would quietly lay next to me until I dozed off.  Only then would he make his way downstairs and sprawl out in his favorite armchair.  

Fuck sharing a bed with that burly asshole 

Old age slowly began to set in, he graduated to only being able to eat wet food as he could no longer handle the crunchy kibble on his sensitive teeth.  Days that had normally been spent frolicking outside for hours on end were now spend inside sleeping in the sunbeam to keep his old bones nice and warm.

Catch your own god damn bird

What I noticed the most out of those last three years was how my Dad fully embraced him.  While he did not mind having Cassie around my Dad never seemed to fully warm up to her.  Mostly because Cassie knew where she was loved and did not waste her time.  It certainly would have been his preference to not have any Cats around at all.  He put up with it because he knew it made his family happy and had no interest in being the villain.  When we got Cassie, she was already fully grown and set in her ways.  When your not a cat person, its hard to form any kind of emotional bond with one that does not seem to give a fuck if you're around or not.  Bud on the other hand approached my Dad as a little baby kitten that needed someone to pay attention to him more than anything.  Bringing him home may not have been my Dads first choice, but in the end I know he did not regret it.  Towards the end of Bud's life my Dad even shared his sardines with him.  

The time had come to make a heartbreaking decision to end his suffering.  During his last few days, Bud never left the kitchen.  He could barley hold himself up anymore and began to develop an infection in his jaw making it nearly impossible for him to open his mouth.  Knowing I was never going to get a chance to pet him again I spent the last day he was with us sitting with him in the kitchen.  He slowly got up and made his way over to me and crawled into my lap.  I slowly stroked his bony frame and did my best to make sure the last moments we shared together were as comfortable as possible.

With heavy hearts, my Mom and I brought him to the Hospital.  When you spend that much time with a pet its just as bad as losing a family member.  The whole time I was there all I could think about was that summer morning 16 years ago when he trotted out to greet me as an 8 week old kitten.  I could not believe this day had finally come.  My Mom and I tearfully gave him a kiss on the head, told him we loved him, heartbreakingly let the vet end his pain and put him to sleep.  As I watched the life leave his eyes all I could think was "No way... No way this is happening right now"  We each stayed there for another five minutes or so as the Vet respectfully gave us some time alone to say our final goodbyes.  After my Mom and I each let it out we finally gathered ourselves together to make our way back home.  Before I left I sent him off with one more scratch behind his lifeless ears, turned and walked out of the room.

Its been about five months since I said goodbye.  I still miss the hell out of him.  For more than half of my life he was always there sleeping at the foot of my bed, waiting for me when I got home from school, or hopping up into my lap when he sensed I was having a rough day.  I think about him every day and as more time passes, I am think less and less about the heartbreaking day at the Animal Hospital and more and more about the good times.  Weather its fucking around with a piece of string, petting him until my arm falls off, and of course 16 years ago when I was an 11 year old boy getting out of the one church service I attended that summer and a little helpless kitten followed me home to eventually became the best Cat and friend I had ever had.

Rest in Peace old friend