I've been on this planet for almost 28 years. As long as it feels like I've been alive, I know that I (hopefully) am not even halfway towards no longer being alive. Its been a hell of a ride so far.. lets look at some moments that have shaped what I am today. If you don't want to read it then yeww can giitoout!
Age 5. My First trip to Fenway Park.
Imagine being a five year old kid that had barley ventured outside of his back yard let alone outside of his home state towards Boston Massachusetts. For weeks I had heard my dad talk about going to Fenway Park for a Red Sox game and now finally at fucking 6am on a Saturday we were going. This better kick ass. I'll never forget driving into the city. Seeing the largest buildings I had ever seen in my life. I was blown away before we were even at the game.
After a (terrifying) subway ride we were finally outside of the ballpark. I had never seen so many people in one place in my life. That was until we went inside to grab our seats. Holy Shit....
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| That's gotta be at LEAST 100 people... |
Age 12. I hit a Home Run in Little League.
It was one of the last games of the season. During my little league career I had already had some cool moments but always wondered what kind of powerful feeling would overcome me if I hit a ball over the fence for a home run. Chad, the pitcher for the other team just happened to be one of my younger brothers best friends at the time. He was also a kid I could not fucking stand. All he did was suck his own dick about how great of a pitcher he was. He kept peppering fastball after fastball on the outside of the plate and I kept fouling them off. Finally, he threw one right in my wheel house. I knew I had gotten a hold of it because I did not even feel the ball hit the bat. That's when you know you hit the sweet spot. I watched the ball sail into the center field night sky and without hesitating I put my head down and ran as hard as I could. I was at LEAST gonna get a double out of this. By the time I rounded second base I realized no one was making a play on the ball. "They must of lost it or something.. fucking right!! TRIPLE!!" I kicked towards 3rd base only to see my coach saying.."Mike, its ok! You hit it over the fence!"
"What?" It did not dawn on me until I trotted into home and saw my teammates pouring out of the dugout to greet me. Hitting a home run in the league that I played only happened a handful of times. The icing on the cake was watching Chad hang his head for the rest of the game.
"What?" It did not dawn on me until I trotted into home and saw my teammates pouring out of the dugout to greet me. Hitting a home run in the league that I played only happened a handful of times. The icing on the cake was watching Chad hang his head for the rest of the game.
Age 18. I Graduated High School
School had always been a little bit of a challenge for me. When I was in 3rd grade I was diagnosed with a learning disability. Things that would be cake for a "normal" student were always more of a challenge for me. so I always needed a little extra attention. Some teachers were great about it, others felt like they were explaining the material clearly enough and it was my fault that I was not picking up on it. Each year became more and more of a challenge. To put it in perspective, I was a fucking JR in High School before I opened up an Algebra 1 book. Fuck Math. Not to mention, I was in Special ED. Its pretty hard to feel good about yourself when you walk into a High School classroom and see a banner of the fucking Alphabet hanging on the walls. There were definitely some moments that had me up at night wondering if I was gonna be able to get my shit together but I fucking did it. Not to mention I was one of the few people in High School that could actually grow a sweet beard. Hearing my full name called to go grab my High School Diploma was one of the proudest moments of my life.
Partying in Vegas for a Weekend
It was the spring of 2011 and a really good friend of mine that lives in Arizona knew I was looking to live it up before making the move to Chicago in the fall. She mentioned the fact that her and some buddies were gonna be spending a weekend in Vegas in the middle of May and wanted to know if I was game. Fuck...Yes. I met them in Arizona on a Thursday night and the next morning we got up and made the drive to the number 1 party town in the world. It was one of the coolest rides I have ever been on. On top of a brief stop at the Hoover Dam, the desert landscape is certainly something to behold.
After a 5 hour drive we finally made it. Everywhere I looked people were living it up. On top of the fact that we had a two bedroom suit for a hotel room that had three bathrooms a kitchen, dining and living area I was also quickly aware of the fact that everywhere you went you could carry an open alcohol container. I immediately came to the decision that for the next 2 days I was going to be an alcoholic. Surprisingly (by Vegas standards) we did not have to break the bank to live it up. Whether it was getting grub at a Burger bar, going out clubbing, playing Beer Pong Tournaments or just walking around with a beer in my hand for two days straight it was one of the funnest times I've ever had.
Oh and the drive back to Arizona Sunday afternoon with the Sun setting behind me in the rear view mirror was pretty fucking sweet too.
Moved to Chicago
About a year ago I decided to relocate. While Maine had been a great place to grow up and I was already making a decent living working two relativity stress free jobs, I wanted to make sure that I wasn't missing out on a chance to possibly make something of myself as a stand up comic. While New York and LA had appeal as possible landing spots, I came to the conclusion that I was not seasoned enough as a performer to make a name for myself. I finally decided on the place where a lot of the great comics of the past got their start. Chicago...
Its been close to 4 months since I made the move. Its been a very humbling experience. I obviously miss my family and friends a great deal but know in the end this will make me a better person and a better comic. If it works out then fuck yeah, if it doesn't? At least I'll know I gave it a shot.
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| All Hunter S Thompson and shit... |
Oh and the drive back to Arizona Sunday afternoon with the Sun setting behind me in the rear view mirror was pretty fucking sweet too.
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| Bad...Fucking...Ass |
About a year ago I decided to relocate. While Maine had been a great place to grow up and I was already making a decent living working two relativity stress free jobs, I wanted to make sure that I wasn't missing out on a chance to possibly make something of myself as a stand up comic. While New York and LA had appeal as possible landing spots, I came to the conclusion that I was not seasoned enough as a performer to make a name for myself. I finally decided on the place where a lot of the great comics of the past got their start. Chicago...
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| Lets share some fucking laughs |
One of my biggest pet peeves in the world has got to be when I see people type FML *Fuck My Life* for their Facebook status updates. Quit being a whiny bitch and think about how big of a miracle you are. At one point you were one of a million other tadpole's that could not see, hear and had no idea where the hell they were going but despite all that you found and egg and fertilized the hell out of it and it eventually became what you are today. You are a living breathing miracle and every day you are alive is a fucking gift. Get out there, see the world, take some chances and live it the fuck up. You won't regret it.
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