Dear, Maine...Don't fuck this up...

There's an election comin..

"NO SHIT MIKE!"

Well.. if you had given me a chance to finish you would have come to the conc..

"OH MY GOD!!!!! GET TO THE FUCKING POINT!!!"  

Look... I'll let the talking heads do all the blabbering about the Presidential election.  The last thing we need right now is another opinion about two guys that are both cocky pricks.  Lets face it though, you want to rule the country... you need to be cocky.  I just hope whoever gets elected never calls in, and show's up to work on time.  Besides, there is another issue on my mind that I feel is a lot more important.  

"Go on..."  

Alright, well.  A couple years ago my home state of Maine overturned a law that allowed same sex couples to marry.  People actually made a point to take time out of their day to collectively make a decision that had nothing to do with their personal lives what so ever.  But at the end of the day, the Maine people decided that they were not ready for same sex couples to get married.  Even though the state allowed it for a few months and nothing even remotely tragic happened that involved two people who love each other getting married.  

"Well, the Bible says its an abomination for a man to lie with another man! ITS CALLED ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE!!  ITS AGAINST GODS WILL!!"

There is nothing I can say here that's going to cause thousands of hardcore bible tapping god fearing individuals to change their mind.  Any time you try to throw a single bit of logic at these people they come RIGHT back at you with a quote from the bible that supposedly disputes any point you try to make with them.  My only hope is that some day they are brave enough to venture into a world that took billions of years to evolve and adapt into the life sustaining planet that it is today.  Sure there can be life after death and if there is, I hope its a million times better than what was written down in the bible thousands of years ago by WHO FUCKING KNOWS?  Besides... Adam and Eve got kicked out of the garden of paradise.  Fucking trouble makers.  

"HOW ARE SAME SEX COUPLES SUPPOSE TO HAVE CHILDREN?"

They don't.  But I'm sure the millions of children crowding orphanage's around the world because their parents fucked up can tell you that being born to a couple consisting of one man and one women does not always make a happy family.  Besides, not all straight couples have children.  Some dudes drank to much Mt. Dew during their childhood and have a low sperm count, or there is something up with the Females reproductive organs.. or something... I'm pretty sure it was safe for you to drink Mt. Dew at least.  

"IT WILL RUIN THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE!!"

If you people are so concerned about the Sanctity of Marriage then lets also vote to pass a law not allowing couples to divorce.  Something that I'm sure is "against gods will."  

But get this Maine...at this coming election you have a chance to back track on the hiccup you made a few years ago.  While you're at the polls voting for the next president of the united states, take some extra time to think about the fact that all these people want to do is fucking get married.  You won't have to go to the wedding, or have anything to do with the wedding reception.  In fact, I bet every single same sex marriage that's ever taken place has had ZERO effect on you....  Don't be an asshole..