Real Athletes play Wiffleball

Since the dawn of time, the competitive edge has dominated whatever life form inhabited the earth.  I've never met anyone that lived around the same time as the Dinosaurs, so I can't speak for them.  But I imagine that a T-Rex would get insanely pissed off whenever anyone tried to mess with whatever animal he or she was eating.  I bet he would also all of the sudden call time out whenever he was playing sandlot football with a bunch of other T-Rex's and the team that he was not on was about to score a touchdown.  No one likes to lose, even if its a friendly game of sandlot football.  Now a days competition is everywhere, politics, religion, education, burping contests and of course, sports.

What sucks about a lot of sports these days is its less about the competition and more about business.  How many times do you hear about some pompous pro athlete signing a "business decision" contract to play for a pro team. Specially in baseball  *COUGH* Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder this year *PUKE* Johnny Damon in 2005.  MLB, NBA, NFL you name it... money is first, winning is secondary.  The NHL kicks ass.  How many times do you hear about some spoiled hockey player holding out for a new contract?  Exactly.  Then again... how many times do you hear about hockey?  Exactly.  Fuck you ESPN.  World wide leader in sports my ass.  The best sports are the ones played in neighborhood driveways, and backyards.  Street Hockey, Sandlot Football, Pickup Basketball and my personal favorite, Wiffleball.

Whether you're playing in a tournament or just messing around with your friends its a sport that can be played by anyone of any age or fitness level.  Both the bat and ball are light enough for a 5 year old that still might be a little weak to handle a wooden bat or a 60 year old that cant really handle the ware and tare of throwing a real baseball without the shoulder flaring up.  There is also very little running involved. (fuck yeah)  While baseball relies on running the bases, wiffleball uses ghost runners.  So if you have a bad knee or weigh a little more than the average person, fear not.  Singles, doubles, triples and home runs are decided by how far you hit the ball.

Got nothing to do on a mid summer Saturday?  Load of a cooler with sandwiches and Gatorade and head to your nearest Wiffleball tournament.  If you thought you and your friends were the only people in the world that knew how to whip off a sweet wiffle curve ball think again.  Teams from all over the area flock to these tournaments every year and why wouldn't they?  There is no better way to spend a kick ass summer day then with some of your best friends playing a sport you've played since you were kids.   After a few years you get to know some of the other teams and become friends with them as well.  It does not take long for the tournament to become one giant backyard were everyone is joking around telling stories and having fun.  By the time the day is over, you're sunburned, tired, ready for a beer and your sides hurt from laughing.  Fuck the beach, I'd rather be playing wiffleball.

So if you're tired of watching 200 million dollar athletes complain about their back being to stiff to play or your favorite player signing a contract with another team because they were offering him a couple million dollars more just remember, there is a backyard with your best friends waiting for your turn to bat.  If you strike out, who gives a fuck.  No one is paying you anyway.

It also makes for a pretty sweet movie plot.