The Last Man To Get Laid.

As a young man growing up heading out into the world to take on new things that would most of the time get the better of me.  I was always curious about what it was gonna be like when I finally lost my virginity.  The constant curiousity was there for a while because I was constantly a virgin for longer then the average male.  Out of all my closest friends I was the last.  To put it perspective... I'm 26 now and I was 26 when I finally lost it.  You do the math.  Yeah... it sucks.    

How can you smile at a time like this?

    

As you can see, I was a big guy for a while.  315lbs of big guy to be exact.  Granted I lead a fun and outgoing life and over the years I have made some kick ass friends.  But when it came to meeting women, I always had to play a bit of a waiting game.  I would show up at a bar or a party and wait for the girl I had my eyes on to get totally wasted, go up to them and say something charming like  "Whats up?" and then wait for a reply.  The replies were always the most exciting part of the game.  Sometimes she would laugh, most of the time she would cry, once in a while it would go somewhere until she would end up saying something like.. "You're so sweet!  You remind me of my dad!"  Which brings us back to why I wait for her to get wasted. At least then she would not be grossed out when I asked.. "So.. if you were not his daughter would you fuck your dad?"

I finally realized I was not gonna win any pretty girls over with my personality alone.  I decided the easiest way to finally experience the pleasure of my Penis entering the unbelievable pleasure zone that is the Woman's vagina, would be to put my body through the most mentally and physically exhausting chapter of my life.  I would have to lose weight and lots of it.  Not only would it be easier to say "Hi" to chicks, it would be easier to live life.  What sucked the most about this was the fact that when you're 315 pounds and lose 20lbs, your still 295lbs.  I knew if I was gonna do this, I was gonna have to just get into the habit of exercising and not think about how much weight I had to lose.  Every time I thought about it I would think.. "LOSE 50LBS AND YOU'LL STILL BE 265LBS YOU FAT FUCK!" 

*sigh*

    This was gonna suck.